Act 1: Maui has a couple of different sides. Visiting Maui typically involves staying in a hotel, when someone else cleans your room, makes your bed and then you lay by the pool/beach while eating food someone else made. When I tell people my daughter lives on Maui, they usually gush and say, “Oh, she’s so lucky!” I remind them (because I’m me) that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns, she works, and you know what she does after she’s done working? She drives home, stops at a store to get some food, cooks, cleans and then maybe does some laundry. You know what she does the next day? The. Same. Thing. Sure, it’s beautiful and there are beach and waterfall days and fruit can be easily foraged. But unless you’re a member of the wealthy elite (more on that later), life on Maui isn’t quite as pretty as those lovely beaches and waterfalls. One thing that took me aback this visit were all of the abandoned cars on the North (non touristy) side. Brother Ed said there seems to be five distinct stages of abandonment. Stage 1: The car is abandoned in an unusual spot, where you typically wouldn’t park a car but left parked anywhere for a while and your car could be mistaken as abandoned. Stage 2: Tires are removed. Stage 3: Windows smashed in, anything of value on the inside removed. Stage 4: The mechanical guts are stripped and the car is graffitied. Stage 5: Car is torched. Ed and I walked down to Jaws the other day, looked over the bluff and found an abandoned car in the middle of the dirt road on the way back - that wasn’t there 15 minutes ago when we walked the same road. We marveled at the efficiency of that particular abandonment. Those blighted cars are everywhere on this side of the island and it’s crazy.
Act 2: Ed asked if I wanted to plant a legacy tree on their property on Maui, pretty much everyone else in the family already had chosen one and put it in the ground. He has a go to nursery he buys the fruit trees from. When he first went there, he was looking at a dwarf mango tree, the owner of the nursery said, “I have some larger trees, but they are a bit more expensive.” Then he paused, looked my brother up and down and went on to say, “But you look like a member of the wealthy elite, you should take the bigger tree.” Note - my brother looks and dresses like me. We do not resemble members of that class and we had more than a few chuckles about their exchange. But thinking about it, it makes perfect sense. He lives on Maui, is in his early 60’s, doesn’t work and is a haole. That screams wealthy elite, even if you dress like us. A caveat to the legacy tree challenge: there were only two days left in my trip. This is an important decision. I want to ensure that whatever I choose grows and flourishes and provides tasty fruit for years to come. I surveyed the grounds to see what everyone else had planted, which narrowed my options.
My first choice was to go for sexy. Rambutan is one of my favorite fruits, I thought that would leave a pleasant memory (and taste) in everyone’s mouth. But a legacy tree? Don’t get fooled by looks, folks. Just because that fruit is so pretty and tastes oh so sweet doesn’t mean you want to put those roots in the ground - do the dance, think about the long term match. Is it in the right growing zone? How about the amount of water/sun it needs and how big will it eventually grow - will it block your or someone else’s views? I’ve backed off rambutan and am leaning towards soursop, but want to do my research a bit more. Ed and Celine were trying to bully me into making a decision before I leave, but I can always come back and do it right. Just jumping in the deep end after the good looking fruit tree doesn’t always end well. I’ll come back at the end of the year if I’m short on miles to get to the next status level to plant whatever I decide is both sexy and smart. ‘Cause that’s what we all really want, right?
Act 3: Ed and Celine. This is the only reason I came to Maui for - family, my brother and daughter - and it’s been a blast. Some people in our lives have tried to domesticate us, and let me tell you, all who have made the efforts have failed miserably. We are more than okay with that. Ed and I would be playing Words With Friends next to each other and he’d say, “I’m interested in herpetology these days.” I look at him and go right to WWF. He’d just played ‘snakey’. I’d snort and say, “Well done!” I make sure to slip in the same type of non sequiturs when we’re playing like, “I think I’m going to the lavatory now.” Not the type of thing I’d ever say, so he looks at his WWF, nods and says, “Good play.” We had a few adult conversations about finances, 5 -10 year plans, what we wanted our lives to look like, but mostly it wasn’t serious at all. There’s just too much wilderness in us and when left unsupervised, it’s a ridiculously funny non-stop show. We relived memories, looked at old pictures, laughed, poked, planned, competed for bed space, laughed, fact checked each other ruthlessly, sang goofy songs, made meals and then laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Straight up silliness, just the way we like it, without any real adults modulating our feral nature. Looking forward to more frequent visits in the near future wherever, whenever. But particularly in off season travel time, because I’m still a Taylor.
Just up the road from my daughter’s house. Looks like Stage 3 to me.
My first choice was to go for sexy. Rambutan is one of my favorite fruits, I thought that would leave a pleasant memory (and taste) in everyone’s mouth. But a legacy tree? Don’t get fooled by looks, folks. Just because that fruit is so pretty and tastes oh so sweet doesn’t mean you want to put those roots in the ground - do the dance, think about the long term match. Is it in the right growing zone? How about the amount of water/sun it needs and how big will it eventually grow - will it block your or someone else’s views? I’ve backed off rambutan and am leaning towards soursop, but want to do my research a bit more. Ed and Celine were trying to bully me into making a decision before I leave, but I can always come back and do it right. Just jumping in the deep end after the good looking fruit tree doesn’t always end well. I’ll come back at the end of the year if I’m short on miles to get to the next status level to plant whatever I decide is both sexy and smart. ‘Cause that’s what we all really want, right?
Act 3: Ed and Celine. This is the only reason I came to Maui for - family, my brother and daughter - and it’s been a blast. Some people in our lives have tried to domesticate us, and let me tell you, all who have made the efforts have failed miserably. We are more than okay with that. Ed and I would be playing Words With Friends next to each other and he’d say, “I’m interested in herpetology these days.” I look at him and go right to WWF. He’d just played ‘snakey’. I’d snort and say, “Well done!” I make sure to slip in the same type of non sequiturs when we’re playing like, “I think I’m going to the lavatory now.” Not the type of thing I’d ever say, so he looks at his WWF, nods and says, “Good play.” We had a few adult conversations about finances, 5 -10 year plans, what we wanted our lives to look like, but mostly it wasn’t serious at all. There’s just too much wilderness in us and when left unsupervised, it’s a ridiculously funny non-stop show. We relived memories, looked at old pictures, laughed, poked, planned, competed for bed space, laughed, fact checked each other ruthlessly, sang goofy songs, made meals and then laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Straight up silliness, just the way we like it, without any real adults modulating our feral nature. Looking forward to more frequent visits in the near future wherever, whenever. But particularly in off season travel time, because I’m still a Taylor.
Not too far from Pukalani Superette, welcome to upcountry
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