Saturday, September 3, 2016

Best $9.99 ever spent

     Football season is upon us again. I'm not much of a football fan. I went to a high school on an island where there were no other high schools, and hence, no football league. The HS kids played against adult teams in the softball and soccer leagues. That may have something to do with my lack of interest in football. I also went to the University of Hawaii, where they do have a football team and Texas A&M, where football is next to godliness. But I went to a satellite school in Galveston that specialized in all things marine, the main campus in College Station, where football is king, was a world away. I did have the opportunity to go a football game in College Station once and I can state, unequivocally, it was the most animalistic displays of behavior I have ever seen. Anywhere. And I've seen some wild stuff in my life. I saw a group of animists in Burma, dancing, drinking some kind of hard liquor out of the bottle, smoking and taking bites out of a raw animal carcass that was hanging from the rafters. The football game was stranger than that. There were all kinds of rituals, what happens before a kick off, what happens after a play and separate behaviors were expected from freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors. I knew nothing of that, my rommate's sister explained some of that to me. I left the game flummoxed, not comprehending the emotion that came from the spectators. 
     Fast forward to my time in Afghanistan. I worked for someone who was a rabid, and I mean foaming at the mouth bat shit crazy Michigan State fan. Not understanding the whole why, when you are in your 60's you would get emotional and really fanatical about your alma mater's success or failure on the gridiron, I attempted to draw her out and ask her from whence the sustained fan support came. I'm a curious guy, when I see something I just don't understand, I ask. I never drilled down to get down to where the unbridled enthusiasm came from, But I tried and oh my goodness, it was there. She was a bright, capable women, skilled in so many ways, but the Michigan State rah rah rah seemed completely irrational to me. It turns out Michigan State has a hated rival. Just Michigan. 
     So, in hopes to prove a point, I spent $9.99 on a Michigan t-shirt, which I would wear underneath my work shirt every Saturday. The first day I wore it, I lifted my work polo shirt up, revealing the hated Michigan logo and my boss physically recoiled - literally - in shock. I was wearing the enemy's clothing. I might as well have been a Taliban with an AK-47 in her office. I was told by someone else there that the rally cry, or whatever it's called, for Michigan, is "Go Blue!" So I go blued her. Loudly. And then I asked her if I looked ridiculous when I go blued her with such fervor. No go. She wouldn't budge. Michigan State hated Michigan. And Michigan was supposed to hate Michigan State. But I had no hatred. I told her that if I watch a football game I really don't care who wins - I like a close back and forth game, I like competition No one likes to watch a blowout in any sport. That's not really well, sporting. 
     When I left, I took my $9.99 Michigan shirt with me to Texas. I continued to wear it. They love their football in Texas, but there must have been a few Michigan fans in Texas, because people would go blue me. I'd go blue them right back, sometimes, quite enthusiastically. I knew I was, as Mitt Romney recently said of Trump, a phony, a fraud, but I was enjoying it.  It was funny. I went to a funeral in Kill Devil Hills in NC this year and the day before was the big game between Michigan State and Michigan. I was wearing my Michigan t-shirt, because well, it was the day before game day. Outside the Wright Brother's museum, there was someone else with a Michigan hat or some orther kit and I go blued him. He go blued me right back and then he talked about 'our' chances that day. Keep in mind, I have zero ties to Michigan, or really any interest in football. I've never really understood the 'our' or 'we' when talking about a football team. You don't play on the team, you're not a trainer or coach for or you're probably not even in the band. But somehow, 'we're' going to do good this week or our team stronger this season.
     And because the shirt is comfortable, I wear it around where we live now, in Arlington, VA. Football season is upon us. It's so funny to me, that because I wear this shirt, people go blue me and I go blue them right back. If they only knew. Don't care who wins. If it makes my old boss happy, I hope Michigan State wins the championship this season and beats Michigan. As long as it's a close game.