Stores and my work wife

     There are some differences between this gig and others I've worked in the Middle East. The most notable is this is a U.S. contract, but on an Iraq Air base. There are few things missing. Like a PX/BX. At those little stores on U.S. bases, shipping is subsidized, some of the products are manufactured for and labeled 'exchange select' and the profits from the store go into the Morale Welfare and Recreation fund of the base. There are two Iraqi stores here, one that sells things you would expect a convenience store to sell, and the other establishment that sells some electronics, shoes, knick knacks and paddy whacks. You might find a geegaw or so as well. They literally have a captive group of consumers. Need some shampoo? Toothpaste? Deodorant? You have one store, one option, and at the price they set. This was all made clear to me before I hopped on my first delayed flight, so I knew what to expect and was fairly adequately provisioned. 

Lacking in curb appeal and price controls...

     There is one other option to get what you want/need and that is the proverbial mule. I hopped on my bike one morning and started to pedal away only to find I had a puncture. The bike I bought at the geegaw store is so cheap, the wheels do not have a quick release skewer, they are attached with an archaic nut and bolt.

This is NOT a real Fuji

It's not far to work, so I walked, sweated and plotted how I'd get my hands on an adjustable wrench. The Automotive shop, staffed mainly by Iraqi's, eagerly offered to repair my flat tire, but I explained to them this is a government contract that didn't allow personal work to be done during hours billed to the USG. I told them all I needed was an adjustable wrench, which they had never heard of. I switched things up. I told them I needed a spanner. They got that, then asked what size I needed - 10 mm? 12 mm? I didn't know. Then I pantomimed the spanner moving. They understood that. "Ohhhh, you mean an English wrench!" Okay, call it what you want. Back to the mule. If you need anything as exotic as an English wrench to help repair future punctures, you have to contact people who are on the way in, perhaps someone you have recently hired, and ask them to buy and put something in their 30kg weight allowance luggage. Then they mule it in for you. When the plane flies again someday.

    But the thing I miss the most here is the work wife that I had in Afghanistan and Kuwait. A work wife/husband is someone of the opposite (or same) sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship at work. Gwyne knew all about this relationship, I disclosed everything. I’m lucky she’s so understanding. My work wife was something else. Need something? Anything at all? Just ask and she’d get it for you. She was super efficient. I’d just be going about my workaday business and she’d suggest something I might be interested in. Chances were, I was. Just like Gwyne, she gets me. She also really liked how frequently and deftly I use my index finger. I know this because just as soon as I was finished, right after that last touch, she always quickly expressed her appreciation. When I found out my work wife wouldn't be at this assignment, I'm certain my eyes moistened, because I'm a very sentimental person. There is no APO (Army Post Office) here because you only find those on U.S. bases. Which means no work wife for me. Oh Amazon, sweet, sweet Amazon Prime. My work wife. I miss you so much. But I'm going to hook up with you when I get back, k?

    

ETD-ETA-UNK

      Everyone was stuck somewhere in 2020 and many were/are stranded somewhere in 2021 as well. I was talking to Gwyne the other day and she was asking what my plans were for my first leave and I said, “Completely unknown.” And they are. I’m in Iraq and everything changes every day. Everything. We have people stuck in India and Nepal. The Philippines won’t let their citizens travel to Iraq. They can leave Iraq to go to the Philippines, but they can’t come back here to work. But President Duterte will fix things. In a televised address he said, “You choose, vaccine or I will have you jailed.”  No, really, he said that. https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/philippines-duterte-threatens-those-who-refuse-covid-19-vaccine-with-jail-2021-06-21/  Dubai opened to Indians and Sri Lankans who were fully vaccinated. Then they shut down a week later. South Africa just went down into a Level 4 lockdown. The South Africans are rushing to get back before we don’t have any flights from Erbil to Balad for nobody knows how long. Yeah, that happens too. No flights in or out. Sydney locked down again. Bangkok locked down construction camps. The Delta variant is rampant in India. And the Delta plus variant is spreading as well. So those travel plans? They’re stuck in a holding pattern. 

     And that’s okay. After working in Afghanistan, 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, my schedule here is a rather luxurious 6 days a week and a mere 10 hours a day, which always seem to fly by. What to do on that day off? Well, it’s still a bit warm outside,

so I try to move from one temperature controlled location to the next, typically my ice cold CHU to the DFAC and back. I get a nap in, if I can. I stop in at the only convenience store on base to see if they can extort a few more dinars out of me. Spoiler alert: they’re usually successful. I bought a bike there last week and on the third day or riding my (not so) trusty steed, the seat stem bent. I guess it couldn’t handle my 160 lbs of solid dad bod. No matter, another seat stem was miraculously fabricated the same day. Some wasta helped with that.  

     Because of the ever changing nature of being here, the work is super interesting. They asked me to get an Iraqi cell today, even though I have VoIP phones with the same number in my office and CHU, a radio and my own cell. I’m pretty reachable. But okay. So they deliver it and I ask what the phone number is. Oh, you have to get a SIM with minutes on it, put in a service order. Again, okay. Then Mohammed calls. He wants to know what service provider I want with my minutes. I have no clue, so I say, “I’m going to make this Mohammed’s choice. You choose. Whatever provider you give me, I’ll be happy with.” He was briefly flummoxed, but then suggested the provider that most managers go with. “Excellent choice, Mohammed, thank you so much!” No reason we can’t have fun here. 

     Another thing I found out is that every time you come into country, you have to get a blood stamp. They draw blood, check for HIV and Hepatitis, then you get that literal stamp in your passport. Unless. Unless you are over 50 if you are female and over 60 if male. I guess they think that shop has closed up for us elderly folk. And stop. Get that image out of your heads.

     Then there are the people. As anyone who has done time (and I use that term intentionally) in the sandbox can attest, some of the people are pretty darn interesting. I won’t delve into the usual and very predictable cast of colorful characters who have been contracting forever, I just want to say the the HR team here is filled with some superstars. Interesting. Educated. Well traveled. Some with a wry and sly sense of humor, all of which is very much appreciated by me. 

     And there we are. No itinerary. Not taking off. No landings in sight. Anticipating more than a little turbulence. And except for Syed and Kuldeep…still smiling.