Alan A. Taylor (see #4)

      I listen to a lot of podcasts, on a very wide variety of subjects. Some are mundane behavioral economics stuff, some profane; I like the witty and irreverent podcasts that educate and provide a laugh, but I’ll give any recommendation a listen. One I listened to recently on my old person morning walk was titled, 'Things we learned in 2019' by a consultant named Tom Whitwell at Fluxx, it was a Planet Money podcast. He’s been making a list of 52 factoids since 2014, one for each week in a year. Some made me laugh uproariously, some made me think, others shocked me. Here's a few of my random favorites, the hyperlink takes you to the research just to show you this shit isn’t made up, the only thing original in this blog are my comments in parenthesis. 

1. 28% of people like the smell of (their own) urine after eating asparagus.[Rolf Degen] (I had to listen to that twice to make sure I heard that right. Guess I’m in the 72% that doesn’t sniff their pee.)
2. Advertisers place a single brown pixel on a bright background in a mobile ad. It looks like dust, so users try to wipe it off. That registers as a click, and the user is taken to the homepage. [Lauren Johnson] (Okay, that’s evil. Extraordinarily clever, but still evil.)
3. Peppa Pig tattoos are big in China. [Kenrick Davis] (I have no tattoos, but I’d consider a temporary Peppa Pig tat to freak my wife out.)
4. Using a middle initial makes people think you’re clever. [Wijnand A. P. Van Tilburg & Eric R. Igou] (Hey Wijnand A. P. And Eric R.  - I get it! - Alan A. Taylor)

   

   Alan A. Taylor on the right. Gwyne, about to be freaked out by my Peppa Pig  tramp stamp tat on the left.

5. 54 percent of Chinese born after 1995 chose “influencer” as their most desired occupation. [Charlie Gu] (I take this as meaning they want to be beautiful, get free things and not work. A large fraction of that 54% will not end up being influencers, so I hope they have a good back up plan.)
6. In the UK, marriages between couples over 65 have risen 46% over the last decade. [Cassie Werber] (Hip hip hurrah for hope! My parents once met two 90+ year olds who were celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary. That's one of the best stories I ever heard.) 
7. In a mixed-gender group, when women talk 25% of the time or less, it’s seen as being “equally balanced”. If women talk 25–50% of the time, they’re seen as “dominating the conversation” [Caitlin Moran] (Note to men: shut the fuck up.)
8. A Dutch bike manufacturer reduced shipping damage by 70–80% by printing a flatscreen TV on their boxes. [May Bulman] (I want my next bike shipped in a box that says it’s plate glass. And I’m a serial bicycle buyer and seller.)
9. Every day, WhatsApp handles twice as many messages as the entire global SMS system — around 40bn messages [Benedict Evans] (I love WhatsApp. I got my family on it and communication is so much easier and that’s the best way in the world to get in touch with me. But I react to that ping like a rat being run through a maze.)
10. The web is less than 8,000 days old. [Danny Quick] (8,000 days seems like a smaller number than almost 22 years, but still. So much, so far, so fast. I used to have to talk to people. I’m glad that’s over with.)
11. Amazon customers spend an average of $529 a year. Amazon Prime customers spend $1,340. [David Holmes] (We have Prime. Amazon owns us.)

Kwajalein - 7th tour

     I was traveling in Vietnam sometime in April/May looking for a warm weather winter get away for Gwyne and I when an e-mail popped up asking if I'd consider going to Kwajalein and helping out for few months. Gwyne gave me the okay and this four months turned into seven, but that's the way these gigs almost always work. I briefly considered staying a full year for the tax break, but 'please stay' just can't compete with 'please come home.' It was wonderful to see old friends who I've known for 50+ years and good friends I worked with in Afghanistan. I'm glad I came. I’m also glad I’m leaving. The world is such a big, interesting place. I didn't find the right warm weather place to escape winter last year, so I'm ready to go back and start exploring again. At least that’s the story I’m selling Gwyne.
     It was also fantastic to reconnect with my Marshallese friends. There are very few Marshallese who work on Kwajalein who don’t know me, and that seemed to be a problem for some people. There was a view that I favored Marshallese employees or that they could come to me and I would magically make their troubles go away. Not at all true and my boss knew that. Then one of the three Kwajalein Senators went to her to attempt to get an employment decision reversed. She politely and professionally said all the right things to him, employment actions are confidential and we're contractually obligated to follow all local laws and regulations. He paused and said something that didn't help the perception. At all. When he realized he wasn't getting the result he wanted from her, he abruptly said, "Where's Alan?" Again, not helpful at all.

Same same...but different

     But it didn’t stop there. A few in the upper echelons of management wanted to know why the Marshallese came to me instead of their respective managers.  I listened. I tried to be patient. I failed, and patience is one of my strong suits. Because bluntness is too, I said, “They come to me because they've gone to their managers and they're not getting the answers/resolution they are looking for. I speak Marshallese. I work in Employee Relations. This is not complicated.” I was in fine fettle. When you are a few days away from retirement (again), and you have zero f**** left to give, it's so much easier to speak freely. They said the Marshallese see me as their savior, that I can help them get out of trouble. I said now, now, that's a bit too much, even for me. Like I said, I was feeling cheekier than usual that day. They asked why our conversations had to be in Marshallese and I replied they don't, but most people feel more comfortable talking in their first language. And then remember, I was in fine fettle and feeling very cheeky, I delivered the next line with an absolutely straight face as I stood and was halfway out the door. It's (mostly) not true, but I said, “Well, sometimes we talk about you in Marshallese.  That way you won't know what we’re saying.” I waited for a moment to see their expression, which included a dropped jaw. As you may imagine, it was just the reaction I was going for.