And this blog will prove it. I received a bill a few weeks back from our insurer, Cigna Global. We pay all our bills on time, but this one took me back a bit. Cigna had overpaid the provider and was asking for a refund from us. I called the number on the bill to ask for some more information and was routed to a call center. "Hello, this is Cigna, how can I help you?" He said this in a signature sing-song Filipino accent and I guessed he was in call center in the Philippines, so I said, "Mabuhay, I just got a bill and want to pay it, but need to know where to send the check." The gentleman asked for my Cigna ID number and Claim Number and amount owed to Cigna and I gave him the information, told him I just needed the address and I'd send the check along quick quick. I probably spent about 20 minutes on the phone with him before he dredged up an address. I wrote a check, put it in the mail and thought that was that. It wasn't.
I got a second notice for the same bill. I looked through our checking account and saw the check that I had previously sent hadn't cleared. Lost somewhere? Cigna gave me the wrong address? Dunno. That second bill, uncharacteristically, sat around for about a week. I was certain we had the funds in our account to cover it, must have been delayed, so I waited. Until today. Because today, I got the same e-mail from Cigna, for the third time, stating they had overpaid the provider and were requesting a refund from us. So I called. Again.
I started out by saying enthusiastically, "Hiiii, I just got an e-mail stating you’re still requesting a refund from us, I’ve already sent in a check, but it looks like you didn’t receive it. I’ll cancel that and I'd like to pay now please." This time, it was a U.S. call center, and here's where I'm sure you will all agree, I am a very, very bad man. They asked for my Cigna ID Number and Claim Number and then they asked for the amount owed. I enunciated the next words VERY slowly: THIRTY....SEVEN.... CENTS.
I asked her if we could pay in cash, because we have the money in our Piggy Bank and I’d put the coins in the mail today, but she said Cigna didn't accept cash. There was a long pause on my part until I sighed deeply and forlornly and I asked her if we could pay the bill by credit card. She said, "Yes, but I have to inform you there will be a 3% transaction fee added to the total amount. I asked, "You’re going to add a 3% transaction fee to the total amount we owe, which is THIRTY...SEVEN...CENTS?" She said, "Yes." I followed up with, "So, with the 37 cents and the 3% transaction fee, what’s the total amount we’ll be responsible for?” I was warming to the task at hand. She said she wasn't trained in credit card transactions and someone would have to give me a call back within 2 business days. I said, "Wait, I think I may be able to puzzle this out - do you round up or down if the 3% transaction fee is a fractional amount?" She again said she wasn't trained in credit card transactions and I said, "So you wouldn't be able to tell me if the total amount owed would be either 38 or 39 cents?" She said, "No, someone will call you back with that information." Then she gave me a reference number. I asked why we would need a reference number, she said, “Just in case you need to call back and ask about this case.” Now my 37 cent bill has a reference number! Seems so much more legit now. I thought about asking her if there was any grace period with job losses, Covid-19 and financial difficulties, but I had enough fun/frustration for the day. You can, however, bet your bottom 37 cents I'll engage in a bit more frivolity when someone calls me within the next 2 business days to collect their overpayment...what do you think the odds are of me asking for a payment plan? Prior to making your bet, please refer to the title of this blog.
I got a second notice for the same bill. I looked through our checking account and saw the check that I had previously sent hadn't cleared. Lost somewhere? Cigna gave me the wrong address? Dunno. That second bill, uncharacteristically, sat around for about a week. I was certain we had the funds in our account to cover it, must have been delayed, so I waited. Until today. Because today, I got the same e-mail from Cigna, for the third time, stating they had overpaid the provider and were requesting a refund from us. So I called. Again.
I started out by saying enthusiastically, "Hiiii, I just got an e-mail stating you’re still requesting a refund from us, I’ve already sent in a check, but it looks like you didn’t receive it. I’ll cancel that and I'd like to pay now please." This time, it was a U.S. call center, and here's where I'm sure you will all agree, I am a very, very bad man. They asked for my Cigna ID Number and Claim Number and then they asked for the amount owed. I enunciated the next words VERY slowly: THIRTY....SEVEN.... CENTS.
I asked her if we could pay in cash, because we have the money in our Piggy Bank and I’d put the coins in the mail today, but she said Cigna didn't accept cash. There was a long pause on my part until I sighed deeply and forlornly and I asked her if we could pay the bill by credit card. She said, "Yes, but I have to inform you there will be a 3% transaction fee added to the total amount. I asked, "You’re going to add a 3% transaction fee to the total amount we owe, which is THIRTY...SEVEN...CENTS?" She said, "Yes." I followed up with, "So, with the 37 cents and the 3% transaction fee, what’s the total amount we’ll be responsible for?” I was warming to the task at hand. She said she wasn't trained in credit card transactions and someone would have to give me a call back within 2 business days. I said, "Wait, I think I may be able to puzzle this out - do you round up or down if the 3% transaction fee is a fractional amount?" She again said she wasn't trained in credit card transactions and I said, "So you wouldn't be able to tell me if the total amount owed would be either 38 or 39 cents?" She said, "No, someone will call you back with that information." Then she gave me a reference number. I asked why we would need a reference number, she said, “Just in case you need to call back and ask about this case.” Now my 37 cent bill has a reference number! Seems so much more legit now. I thought about asking her if there was any grace period with job losses, Covid-19 and financial difficulties, but I had enough fun/frustration for the day. You can, however, bet your bottom 37 cents I'll engage in a bit more frivolity when someone calls me within the next 2 business days to collect their overpayment...what do you think the odds are of me asking for a payment plan? Prior to making your bet, please refer to the title of this blog.
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